Talk to your parents

If it is safe for you to talk to your parents, speak to them about how you feel. When families split up you may have really upsetting feelings and it’s important to let your parents know so they can help.

You might feel:

  • Sad because a parent you love has left the home, you miss them and want your parents back together.
  • Angry because your parents have split up.
  • Lonely because you feel there is nobody to talk or they may not understand and help.
  • Scared because your family and life is changing. Maybe your parents are fighting about money or how much time you can spend with them.
  • Unloved because you’re not spending a lot of time with one of your parents or you feel like it was your fault.
  • Jealous that your parent is spending time with other children and not you.
  • Embarrassed because your family has split up and your friends still have both their mum and dad at home.
  • Confused because you don’t know why this is happening and may have lots of questions.

These are strong feelings that can make you upset for a long time and it’s important to get help, support and love from both your parents.

They will want to know how you’re feeling so they can find ways to help you to manage. Maybe if something they are doing is upsetting you, knowing how you feel may help them to change what they’re doing but this is not always possible, for example, your parents are not likely to get back together because you want them to.

You will have good days and bad days. Remember:

  • Change takes time to sink in. Hiding your feelings can make things worse.
  • Bad days will pass and good days will happen.
  • Lots of children have parents who have split up. You are not alone.
  • Its OK to ask for help when you are having bad days.

If you don’t think it’s safe to speak to your mum or dad because you’re worried they will get angry with you or you tried and it didn’t help, find a safe person to speak to.

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